


Look at Me

by Fire_Bear



Series: Tumblr Requests [14]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: (allusions to past substance abuse), Actors, Angst, Arguments, Fans, First Meetings, Love Confessions, M/M, Third Wheels, admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Bear/pseuds/Fire_Bear
Summary: Matthew is a massive fan of the actor, Gilbert Beilschmidt. Imagine his surprise when he meets him while shopping with his brother.





	1. Look at Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aliesiar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliesiar/gifts).



> For some reason, I like Matthew staring at Gilbert a lot. And I’m not even sure why…
> 
> There's a second chapter for this (set months after the first part) because aleisiar said she'd love to see more of this AU but the first chapter is for this prompt: “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

“I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice,” said Gilbert, smiling fondly.

He looked so loving and caring and _happy_ , blissfully happy, that Matthew nearly swooned. There was a slight blush on Gilbert's pale cheeks and his eyes were intent. They didn't waver. He was determined to get his prize.

Matthew had to take a deep breath.

“You okay over there, Mattie?” asked Alfred as, on-screen, Gilbert's love interest flustered and blustered, trying to plead innocent.

Almost growling, Matthew shot his brother a glare. Alfred raised his hands in surrender and was immediately distracted by his girlfriend. Natalya grimaced apologetically over Alfred's shoulder before returning to the task of kissing him passionately. Matthew wished they wouldn't, not while Gilbert was acting so brilliantly.

Gilbert Beilschmidt was a hot, young actor who was in practically everything. He was great in comedies, brilliant in dramas and he excelled in romances. Matthew had been his fan since day one and had never missed a TV episode or a showing of a film or an interview posted online. Some of the chat shows he watched were shown in other countries but he still downloaded them, somewhat illegally. But he couldn't help himself – if he couldn't have Gilbert in his life, he wasn't sure what he would do.

The scene continued and Gilbert's love interest had finally crumbled, admitting his feelings. Gilbert reciprocated them in such a heart-warming performance that Matthew had tears of happiness in his eyes. They embraced and then- Matthew closed his eyes. It always broke his heart when he watched Gilbert kissing someone else; even if it was another actor, even if it was for a joke.

Sighing, he opened his eyes again, having counted down the time it took for them to move on.

“Wow,” said Alfred from beside him, apparently no longer distracted. “You really are obsessed with him, aren't you?”

That struck a sore spot. Somewhere inside him, Matthew knew how unhealthy his need for Gilbert was but it still rankled that someone would dare to say it out loud. Matthew glowered at his brother and lurched to his feet. “At least I'm not making my girlfriend stay in instead of taking her out on a date.”

“Hey! We're have a lazy date. Right, Nat?”

“ _Right_ ,” said Natalya, clearly unimpressed.

“Whatever. Just leave me alone.” And, with that, Matthew stormed off, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

* * *

A couple of weeks later, Alfred and Matthew were shopping. Alfred was pushing the cart and, occasionally, riding it along the aisles when no-one else was around. Matthew allowed him, knowing full well the complaints he would receive if he tried to stop him. On this particular day, however, Alfred rolled down the aisle just as someone rounded the corner: Alfred only just managed to skid to a stop.

The man looked up. Matthew, who had jogged to catch up with his brother, froze, arm outstretched in an aborted attempt to grab the cart from him.

Gilbert Beilschmidt was in their local grocery store.

“Oh, dude!” Alfred cried, also gaping at the man. “You're that Gilbert guy!”

For the next few minutes, Gilbert exchanged pleasantries with Alfred while Matthew did what he did best in uncomfortable situations – melted into the background. He completely ignored everything Alfred was saying and barely registered Gilbert's words as he took in the man's appearance close up. That perfect face with its perfect, pale skin. Those oddly coloured eyes, so distinctive and full of mischief. Pale blond hair that was dishevelled, as though he'd just woken up. He was wearing a faded hoodie with a yellow bird design and a pair of ripped jeans, though Matthew couldn't tell if that had been an accident. Matthew also wished he was wearing tighter clothes or that he would take the hoodie off – he wanted to see if Gilbert's body was really as muscled as it looked in movies and photographs.

Suddenly, Alfred turned, said something to him rather excitedly and then took off, leaving Matthew with the cart. And with Gilbert Beilschmidt who was looking rather amused.

Then his eyes landed on Matthew and he smirked. Matthew was sure there was a rather telling bulge in his own jeans now and didn't dare look down. Of course, that meant that he was staring right back at Gilbert. He could feel the blush on his cheeks spreading.

“Hey, so, you're Matthew, yeah?” the actor asked.

“Y-Yes?” Matthew managed to whisper. “How did you...?”

“Your brother told me. Says you're a fan?” Gilbert's smirk widened.

“He... did?” Matthew was sure he was on fire.

“Uh huh. Well, Mattie...” Gilbert stepped closer and leaned forward, mouth next to Matthew's ear. Matthew definitely stopped breathing. Gilbert sighed, his breath making Matthew shudder. “I've seen the way you look at me,” Gilbert whispered, his voice sultry, “when you think I don't notice.”

Later, Matthew was pretty sure he'd passed out in some way because, when he regained his senses, his brother had returned with Natalya, Gilbert was nowhere to be seen and all Matthew had to remember him by was a piece of paper clutched in his hand and bruised lips.


	2. Fear & Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts: “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” and “Kiss me.”

“Ah! No, wait!” Gilbert cried, catching hold of Matthew's wrist. “Where are you going?!”

“I'm going to my brother's,” Matthew snapped, yanking his arm from Gilbert's grip. “If you think I'm worth your time then come find me. But if you want to fool around with celebrities, don't bother.”

“Wha-? It's just a bit of fun,” exclaimed Gilbert, darting around his boyfriend to block his path. “It's not serious. Not like this.”

“Are you so sure about that?” Matthew looked livid and Gilbert gulped – he had never seen him so angry, not even when he took him on set and had had to kiss Arthur as part of the scene. Sure, Gilbert had spotted that he was a little upset but Matthew had been brilliant and brushed it off. Conversely, it seemed like he wasn't mightily impressed about the photo which had been leaked: Gilbert had been caught with a woman clinging to each arm. At the moment the photographer had taken the picture, one of the woman had grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss while the other had tried to kiss his cheek and ended up at his ear. He knew it looked bad and he knew that his partying hadn't exactly shown Matthew that he was faithful but he hadn't been expecting Matthew to walk out.

“Yes. I'm sure. So very sure. Don't go.”

The look Matthew gave him broke Gilbert's heart. “How can I believe that? Half the time I see you, you're drunk! And, most of the time, you've got someone else with you! I can't go on like this.” Matthew took a breath, tears in his eyes. “I really thought this would work, it's everyone's dream but... This isn't how I want to live. I need to _leave_ , Gil. I don't want to watch you coming in and out with men and women all the time. It's painful.” Matthew closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking straight at Gilbert. “Goodbye.”

Gilbert could only stare as Matthew walked around him. He was too stunned to say anything. For all the time he'd been an actor, he didn't think he had been rejected. Then again, he had only ever had relationships for sex. But Matthew was different and he knew that – feeling the pain of Matthew leaving, he realised how much he cared about the man and was suddenly desperate to stop him.

“Mattie,” he whispered. Somehow, that halted Matthew in his tracks and Gilbert thought fast. What could he say to fix this? “Don't go. Please. I-I think I love you.”

Turning slightly, Matthew stared at him. “Did you just-? How can you say that _now_? That isn't fair! You can't just tell me something like that to stop me from going.”

“No!” Gilbert took a step forward but stopped before he scared Matthew off. “No, I-I really do. It took me until now to realise it,  Bär . I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified. E-Especially when you can walk away and find someone much better than me 'cause you're perfect and everything.”

Turning to face him fully, Matthew stared at him, looking rather shocked. Then he frowned, a cross between confused and annoyed. “What are you talking about?” he demanded. “You can walk away from me at any time and straight into someone else's arms.”

“Why would I want to? I love you, Matthew. I'm not going to find someone else. Never.” Gilbert paused, looking at his bare feet, for once wishing that he'd made better decisions with his life. “I need you, Mattie. I need you to keep me grounded, I suppose. I've always thought I could get away with anything and now I can see... You've been telling me for months to be more responsible and I just ignored you. You're right. I need to grow up.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. If he lost Matthew now, he knew that he'd just end up back to his old habits. And his  _really_ old habits, the ones it took Arthur to drag him out of.

“Gil,” said a soft voice and he raised his head to find Matthew standing right in front of him, his bag lying abandoned by the door. Hesitantly, he reached up and placed a hand gently on Gilbert's cheek. When his thumb brushed under his eye, Gilbert realised he was crying. That was the moment he broke down and threw his arms around Matthew, burying his head in Matthew's shoulder and sobbing.

It took him a few minutes to calm down and, by that point, Matthew had pulled him to the sofa and forced him to sit down. He took a few shaky and calming breaths as he wiped at his eyes. “Sorry,” he mumbled, annoyed that he had cried in front of Matthew.

Smiling, Matthew shook his head. “It's not your fault. I'm sorry, too. I suppose I should have had more-”

“Don't, Mattie. It's not you. It's me.”

At that, Matthew laughed. “You're making it sound like a break-up instead of a reconciliation.”

“Nah, that'd be more: 'Yo, totally like you but I gotta go'.” Gilbert grinned cheekily at Matthew and his boyfriend, thankfully, laughed.

“You're an idiot,” Matthew sighed, his shoulders slumping as if a weight had been removed.

“Am I  _your_ idiot?” Gilbert asked as sweetly as possible.

Rolling his eyes, Matthew gave Gilbert a fond smile. “We're going to have to have a long talk. But first... Kiss me.”

Gilbert blinked in surprise but quickly returned the smile. “Of course,  meine Geliebte ,” he said and did as he was told.


End file.
